“Mayday”, if you didn’t already know, comes from the French m’aidez, or help me. And that’s probably as much as I’m going to remember from the VHF radio course that we’ve just done, so I sincerely hope that no one else’s life is going to depend on my radio skills anytime soon.
For us to legally use the Raymarine radio on our Dutch barge Karanja, at least one of us needs to have done and passed the RYA (Royal Yachting Association) VHF Radio Short Range Certificate (SRC) one-day course. And, as I’ll probably be the one chatting up the eclusiéres (lock-keepers) come next summer in France, it was a good idea for both Roy and me to have it under our belts.
On previous cruises downstream, we’d passed (and photographed) the Bisham Abbey Sailing and Navigation School, a modest little building in a marvellous location right on the River Thames, near Marlow. The VHF course is just one of many that it offers, including the barge-handling ICC course and the CEVNI (Code Européen des Voies de la Navigation Intérieure) that we did in Moissac a couple of years ago.
Beautiful Bisham Abbey dates from around 1260, and is now a National Sports Centre – still oozing smugness just a couple of weeks after the UK’s sterling Olympic performance, which was more than I can say for myself after the VHF course, earlier this week. After some good coaching from instructor Tim Allen, we both did well in the theory part of the test – Roy scored full marks. Being an Old Man of the Sea, he also sailed through the practical part with the radio itself, but I panicked a bit under pressure; fortunately, I must have got enough right to pass. (It cost £270 for the two of us, by the way, plus another £60 each towards the RYA. Find out more at www.bishamabbeysailing.co.uk.)
Roy can be a scrupulous sort of fellow (when it suits him), so we hadn’t used the radio until yesterday, now properly qualified. Good news is that it works really well, and the best thing is that he can use it from the helm to talk to me through our loudhailer at the front of the boat, a nifty thing! Not so essential in tranquil Sonning lock, perhaps, but it should come in handy next year, when we’re in one of those gigantic French locks with a couple of 300-tonners and the water is thundering in. M’aidez! M’aidez! M’aidez!
I agree that the technicalities drift away once you have your certificate, but (a) I have a waterproof crib sheet sold by that yachties’ outfitters under Charing Cross bridge on the Embankment and (b) why not spend ten minutes each day doing a spoof domestic vhf conversation about food, booze, shopping, etc? It will keep your voice procedure fresh?! Golf Lima.